A PARTIAL work OF fiction: goodbye / HELLO

PART 1

Are you remembering anything now

“Huh?”  She looks at the man coming toward her.

Are you remembering anything now?

She looks down at her hands.  She always had delicate looking hands.

“A while back, years back, I was in a car, seated on the passenger seat and looking through the window on my side.  My hand is on the window.  It’s raining and the car is beginning to steam up.”

Where were you being driven to?

She doesn’t answer that.  She just carries on from where she was last.

“I didn’t let any outside air in to let out the steam.  It was already too cold in the night to do that.  I was happy watching the red, orange, and blue lights reflect off the raindrops.”

What happened next?

“Has anyone ever told you….”

What happened next?  What did you see?

She looks down at her hands once more.

No I won’t.  I won’t think you’re crazy…no more than usual anyway.

He smiles.  She smiles.

“I guess you can be lighthearted after all”.

She breathes in and out slowly and deeply a few times.  He closes his eyes and leans on the wall behind.

He opens his eyes and looks at her; his expression questioning.

“You see”, she continues “I was looking through the side window in the car.  I was looking at the raindrops and the passing scenery.  Those words…”

Trust me

“Yes, “trust me”.  They appeared right there.  It was as if someone had written on the misty glass with an invisible hand.”

And what did the others in the car say to this phenomenon?

“Nothing.  Only I could see the writing.  It was as if the message was written just for me, and I knew it.”

PART 2

Tell me more – those words; why did they appear to you?  What do they mean?

She looks up at him.

“There was a time when I was so confused about life, my life.  I was a teenager then and I wanted everything to be over.  When I saw those words on the car window, they changed me.  Each time life became hard, I would think of those words and new energy would spring up in me.”

And so life is better now?

“Well, that’s a hard one to answer because sometimes I feel like I struggle more now than I did then.  Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far.  I often feel I wont make it to the next day.”

Who do you think wrote those words?

She pauses for a moment.

“I’m not sure if I should say…you did.  You wrote those words.”

But I wasn’t in the car, was I?

“No, not physically, but still, I think you’re everwhere.”

And why is that?  Who am I?

The moment she says this, everything goes dark.  She can not see anything or make out what is around her.

PART 3

PART 4

The darkness fades, and she begins to see her surroundings.  She notices she is no longer in the room, but in a car.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

It is the car from all those years past; the very same one.  The only difference is herself; she is no longer the teenager in the passenger seat.

“What am I doing here?  How did I get here?”

She is scared.  She senses something is coming; something ominous.

The car moves faster and faster.

“Oh God, help me.”

God does not arrive to help.

The car stops at no obstacle, not even at the fence that separates road from cliff.

“Wait, no.  This isn’t what is supposed to happen.  STOP. GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?”

He is no where.

The splash is a hard one.  The car hits the water and goes under in what seems like an eternity, yet at the same time, it happens so fast, she is amazed by it.  Water fills the compartment.  Soon there is no air.

“Im drowning.  I’m dying.  Why God why?  Why am I dying?”

He does not answer.

She floats around in the car as she is nudged by the water.  The door opens and she drifts upward, her body forming the shape of a curved mushroom.

Her mouth opens and water begins to enter her being.  She doesn’t fight the inevitable.  She is too tired.  She manages some final thoughts.

“Life has killed me after all.  I thought I could break through.  I thought I could win.  Maybe I could have, but I just didn’t know how.”

She breathes in the water.

“It seems I do not have tomorrow after all.  Goodbye world.”

She opens her eyes to take in her surroundings for the last time.  She sees the car continue to make its way to the bottom.  Her eyes catch something.  The passenger door is open.  But that isn’t what she notices, it is what’s on the window.  Those words.  Those words that only she can see.

“God, is that you?  My Maker, are You here?”  She thinks it so loudly, it nearly deafens her.

In reply, she hears the words whispered back to her: “Trust Me”.

Her heart is filled with emotion.  She begins to struggle and fight.

“My Maker is here.  He is here.”

She looks up and sees the light of the sun breaking through into the water.

“I must live.  Oh my Maker, help me live”

She swims as hard as she can; the pressure on her lungs gets greater.

She reaches the top and bursts through the water to the surface.  Everything is going to be alright.  “HELLO WORLD”

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4 responses to “A PARTIAL work OF fiction: goodbye / HELLO

  • Patrick Colpron

    Do you shoot film? Love these images, the story was … like a daydream within a daydream

    • deborah caleb

      ha ha. daydream within a daydream…my “inception”. i do like the etheral, surreal style indeed. 🙂
      thanks for the compliment eh. i shoot with my canon 60D. these were done with 50mm lens 1.8f.
      i love film love the look, so i thought i’d see if i could create the same style. i think digital captures a lot of information so thought i could get away with blacking out the room completly, then using normal house lamps to bring light back into the room.
      Then used after effects for final curve and blending. (I dont use photoshop).

  • nonexpert35

    Deborah,

    I loved your story. A thought came to mind as I read and reread it. The pattern of thought in your story seems to be “presence”, followed by “absence”, then followed by “presence again”.

    Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat upon it, from whose presence earth and heaven fled away, and no place was found for them. (Rev. 20:11)

    Just sharing this…don’t mean or intend to sound preachy…but it can mean that the answers to life’s problems and puzzels is niether found in “earth” nor in “heaven”, but only in “someone”.

    • deborah caleb

      hey, sory for getting back to you late on this. nah, not preachy at all. I love reading back frrom people regardless of what they say, how it sounds etc.
      I thought your take on this was really interesting. And yes, presence, absence, presence. That is totally it, but I never really thought about it before, or articulated it that way.
      And Revelation 20:11, def taking away that point. Really liked it.
      Thanks for your thoughts. 🙂

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